I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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