Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
