It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
