I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
