This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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