I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
