Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
