its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
