sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
