this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
