He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
