Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
