I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
