Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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