how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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