We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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