dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wish i was in the wii world.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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