I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
