Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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