Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
