I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Pappa wants mamma naked
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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