yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
