Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

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(208): View more from Idaho

I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

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(850): View more from Florida

Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.

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(315): View more from New York

We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same

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(831): View more from California

No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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(720): View more from Colorado

You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

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(562): View more from California

youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.

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(807): View more from Ontario

Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.

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