"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
