and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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