Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
