yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
