did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
