I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
