Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
