I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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