How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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