no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize