um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
