Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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