I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I cut my penus on the lid.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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