Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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