I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
