Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
