We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
