And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
