I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
