if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
