He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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