Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Randomize
