I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
