Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
