THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
