I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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