Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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