also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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