Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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