I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
