Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
True college students do jello shots in the library
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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