Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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