I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
