I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
