Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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