we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
