please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Send help, water and tortillas.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
