if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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