So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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