I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
