she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
